Was It All Just an Isolation Phase?
Being stuck in isolation left us all doing some crazy things…
As I sit here in Western Australia where our Covid-19 numbers are down and our restrictions are being lifted, I look back on what I did to pass all of that time where we weren’t allowed to go out. While sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago that things were “normal”, it also feels like it’s flown by. What really kept me motivated and mentally stimulated throughout this time alone was being able to write. It felt so good to get all of my thoughts and feelings down and out to others who may feel the same way. The writing wasn’t just a time where I’d sit down and write anything, but it was a time when I would set an intention of what I wanted to say, the message I wanted to share or the story I wanted to tell. Without the outside pressure of work, social outings (or any outings in general), I was left sitting at my computer, a cup of tea at my side and my fingers at the ready to type out all those stories I wouldn’t write if life was running at its regular pace.
Now that I can leave my house, see friends and have work to do, I am starting to wonder whether I used the writing as a coping mechanism for the lack of work I had during isolation. As someone who is constantly go-go-go it felt so foreign to have so much time at my disposal. It left me wondering if society has taught me that the only way to validate your time is to have something to show for it. Sitting down and genuinely relaxing seemed so wrong and “lazy” to me before isolation because I would tell myself “that’s not properly maximizing your productivity and time”. Even right now, as I write this article, I have realized that it is my day off work. Could I have just had a day doing absolutely nothing I deem “productive”? I’m not too sure anymore…
“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” — Graham Greene
The hustle culture we have developed in our society has pushed us to have a very skewed idea of balance. Balance these days seems to be taking an afternoon walk while listening to an educational podcast and planning your week. I do truly find joy in that, but do I find joy in it because I love the experience or because I love knowing I’m being clever with my time management and productivity? This time in isolation has taught me to question my intention behind certain things I do and has helped me to better understand myself.
I’ve loved being able to have my little pocket on the internet where I can post whatever my heart desires, but I do wonder if I will continue this writing journey once life settles back into its “normal” routine. When things start to get busy and my diary starts to fill up again, will I prioritize this time I love so dearly — sitting down and writing — or will it slip to the wayside like all of the other new relaxing hobbies I’ve acquired during this time? I suppose only time can tell. What I am grateful for, is the passion I’ve felt when I’ve been inspired by something or recalled a great story, and been able to write it all down. Having the freedom to make mistakes, not having anyone marking this (thank the lords for finally being out of uni), and just writing for the primary goal to write has been magical.
